In the late 70s, my Mom & Dad
met at my Uncle's place (Phino's Pool Office), where Mom worked, as a subject(Broker) and Dad visited. They became friends
and had a close relationship without compliance. It was later known that she was pregnant. Unknowingly to her, he was married,
so she felt cheated, while he had no remorse, but promising to see her.
Months passed
without information or contact, then she made enquiries of him and got to know that he was in Warri. He showed up with money
for abortion. On hearing this, she refused, because her life was at stake. On the suggestion of keeping the pregnacy,
he left disclaiming responsibility and that was the period of him.
At
this stage, she went to the Uncle, who summarily fired her with no benefits or entitlements on accounts of infidelity. she
was left to face the predicament of child bearing with her meagre savings. As her father, who is a widower would not hear
of the abominable act. His proud principles would not accomodate her, based on the fact that she was a disgrace and shamefully
treated as such.
She was made a laughing stock in the neighbourhood. Her eldest sister
made matters worst by stroking her at every instance and making jest of her to public ridicule. She was left to her fate,
so she took drugs to abort the pregnacy but failed, she then tried the abortion belt, because she could not stand a protruding
stomach.
She
decided to look for his parents, tracing him to his hometown(Akumazi-Umuocha) through one of Uncle Phino's friend (Dogo).
Unfortunately, they were both dead, but she found solace in his aunt (Cecilia) and an uncle (Nnabuife). It was these persons
that recuperated her. They registered her in the General Hospital, were she started her ante-natal care. She was more determined
with their courage to give birth.
When
the pregnancy was 8 months old, she became afraid due to her in experience and the hostility of her father in her condition,
so, she fled to meet her elder sister at Abeokuta, who was then babysitting, for assistance. It was this my aunt, who helped
at my delivery in collaboration with her neighbours and named me ABIODUN according to their tradition, as I was born in a
festive period, in fact, on a festive day, New Year day.
After
three weeks, I was brought back to town (Agbor) with a cold reception from her immediate family. She solely nursed me
and took post-natal care of me. The following week, I was taken to Uncle Nnabuife, for my naming ceremony in the deliberate
absence of my father, who had been summoned by his uncle. Though my Uncle insisted on the need of his presence, customarily,
as to whom it is due to give me a name, he performed the ceremony playing the role of a grandfather with the consent
of aunty Cecilia. In my fathers absence, I was called LUCKY, due to the circumstance surrounding my birth, my survival of
the abortion attempts and my being a male.
Mom
was accompanied by her cousin in search of my Dad in Warri with no address. On reaching him, he was confronted with my disownment,
which he refused, but accepted to be sending money for my upkeep, though not regular until Mom had to introduce him (as I
asked, if anybody with semblance was my father not even having his picture). She pleaded that he visited once in a while,
but even as at now, we may not see in a year or even more and that was how I came to know my father. Till now, I sometimes
gesticulate: who, how and what a father is to a child. "He told me I should rely on God as a father that as for him, he
can't assume the responsibility of a father now, not having been there."
